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An Entirely New Adventure

After several years of writing a website where I talked mostly about poop and the rest of the time complained about my first-world problems, I wanted to start a website with a broader purpose. I wanted to write a blog that a wider group of people could relate to. For months I tried to figure out how to do that. And then, as the new year approached, I found my topic.

I have spent most of my life as a cute-but-dumb Valley Girl. Last year I realized that I don’t have to hide behind that obnoxious facade anymore. Once I realized that it was OK for me to be smart, that it’s even more fun to be the smart girl than the airhead, I started to wonder if there was something else in my background that could make for an interesting blog besides the fact that I have dogs who like to eat one another’s feces.

So I groped around in the recesses of my pretty brain until I remembered what is most important to me: My marriage and my family. My wonderful, wild siblings taught me to believe in family, my parents taught me to believe in marriage and my husband taught me to believe in true love. In my opinion, those three things are indelibly intertwined: Marriage, family, true love. But not everyone is so lucky. I’ve known far too many people mired in bad relationships. I’ve watched too many loved ones suffer through vicious divorces and devastating heartbreak. I’ve known too many couples who’s families don’t support them or who don’t support their partner’s familial binds.

When I was fourteen I started working as a clerk in a family law firm. By the time I was twenty-one I had earned my paralegal certification and was specializing in family law. For over seven years I watched hundreds of families break into pieces; I saw couples fighting over children, over money, over assets and debts. I learned a lot about marriage and divorce. Most nights I drove home from work crying. Other nights I drove home numb. I know that in some cases divorce is necessary, some people shouldn’t be married to other people. Some divorces are a matter of life or death for an abused spouse. But some divorces are a result of couples who’ve simply given up. These are the divorces that break my heart. How can we give up on family?

If I’m good at anything, it’s being married. I love being a wife. I’m proud of my marriage and I’m excited about the life my husband and I are building. I believe that family is the most important asset any of us will ever have and I’m afraid that the value of family in this country has dropped to frightening lows. When I started dating Mike I also started collecting articles and exercises and books on how to keep relationships and families healthy because I’d be damned if I ended up with anything less. I have a wealth of information to share.

This year, 2010, I want to focus more on my marriage and my family. I want to focus on being a stronger, better woman. I want to work towards becoming the role-model I want for my children. This website will reflect that. Ideally, eventually, this website will also become a way to reach out to people who are thinking about getting married, who are newly married, who are in troubled relationships, who are in great relationships, who are thinking about divorce or trying to avoid divorce. I hope this blog will be a place for readers to find information about prenups, co-parenting, life-after-divorce, life-after-marriage, case law, family counseling and whatever else I can come up with. I will share my own stories, family stories and maybe, if you’ll let me, your stories. Of course I will also write about my daily life, my copraphagious dogs and whatever small adventures I happen upon. Maybe you think my goals sound lofty, but I say, It’s a New Year! Let’s dream big.

Welcome to A Serious Girl.