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Self Indulgent and Super Classy

iphone.lo

Remember when I was in New York and I was blogging while posing for my friend Christine’s photo project? This is one of her final picks.

The assignment was to shoot a five page fashion spread that tells a story, so she decided to tell the story of a young blogger who gets her first book published. The spread would be titled, “Frosty-licious: Self Indulgent and Super Classy” and it features the blogger participating in various social media platforms. This one is called, “Twitter.” Or I don’t know, I just made that up, you’d have to ask Christine what it’s called.

Anyway, all the photos came out great, but I think my personality is most beautifully captured in this one:

Hawt

Don’t you agree?

God Bless Suburbia

After dinner last night, right before we headed upstairs to get ready for bed, we realized we’d forgotten to run the errands we needed to run. We were supposed to pick up coffee, sugar, a GFCI electrical socket, and the required black pants/black shirt Mike needs for his new part-time job. (Yay for the part-time job!)

Luckily, it was only seven-thirty, so we tucked the dogs in for the night, grabbed sweaters to protect against the freezing sixty-degree weather, and hopped in the car.

Yes, we get ready for bed at seven-thirty. What can I say? We’re an old married couple.

By eight-thirty we were brushing our teeth and marveling at how we’d just run three hours worth of errands in one. It was because of the strip mall. And the trunk of the car.

You see, most people who live in suburbia take for granted their ability to run multiple errands in a short period of time. I know, because I used to be one of those people. And then I moved to New York and figured out how the rest of the world works. Or at least the part of the world situated in Manhattan.

If we were still living in Manhattan, we’d have had to make three separate stops, instead of the one we were able to make last night. First we’d have gone to K-Mart for black Dickies and a generic black button-up. It would have taken us thirty minutes to get there, plus a ten minute walk off the train, and it would’ve been a miserable experience because that K-Mart was never fully stocked and it was always so full of people there ought to be signs out front warning shoppers not to enter if they fear large crowds. Next we’d spend another twenty minutes on the subway, another fifteen minutes walking, and then we’d be at Home Depot, also terribly crowded, with checkout lines thirty people deep. Fifteen more minutes walking and an hour on the subway before we got to our neighborhood market, all while carrying everything we’d purchased elsewhere. By the time we finally got home we’d have spent at least three hours, probably four, and we’d be exhausted, sweaty, and praying for an early death.

Instead we hopped in a car, drove to a strip mall, purchased everything we needed at a Target and a Home Depot sitting back-to-back, and were home in sixty minutes. Yes, it’s a little freaky that we can buy groceries and clothing in one location, I’ll be honest. Target’s new grocery section makes me feel a little bit dirty, I don’t know why, but still. I do not miss the city at all.

P.S. There’s a wiener in the lantana.

wiener in the lantana

To Ramble

My brain is totally fried.  It’s only Monday and it took me three attempts to type the word “fried.”  Both times.  I’m exhausted.  I’m working a lot.  But I had an absolutely fantastic weekend, even though I worked on Saturday, so I am not complaining.

bliss

Last week Mike left for Los Angeles for his nephew’s high school graduation.  The kid is graduating Valedictorian, after all.   I’ll admit I was a little nervous about him going away for a long trip and me being all by my lonesome.  And I know it’s ridiculous considering I live with five animals in an enormous apartment building in the middle of New York City.  If there is anything I couldn’t possibly be, it’s alone. Even if I didn’t have the animals, you can’t go anywhere in this city without being pressed up against a hundred other sweaty bodies, so being alone is not an issue here.  But I do not like when we are separated.  I feel like I’m missing a limb.

And of course the rain didn’t help.

even the windows are weeping

There is nothing like rain to make a barely-holding-her-shit-together gal totally lose it.  But you know what?  It was only for a day.  He left Tuesday morning, I spent the day feeling miserable and sorry for myself, and then on Wednesday I got my ass back to work and I have been hustling ever since.   I miss him, I really ache for him, but I have been totally o.k.  I’ve even been eating my vegetables!

having a nice sniff

Friday morning I got up an hour early so I could take the dogs to the park while the sun was out.  Those little poop-eating beasts bring me so much happiness, I cannot even begin to explain it.  Sometimes I worry that I won’t love them anymore when I have babies.  Like, there won’t be enough left over for them.  And then I know that’s not true, I know I have enough room in my heart for everyone.

Saturday I worked, and afterwards Adam picked me up in his little blue bug and swept me off to Astoria for a slumber party with Joe, Christine and Breya and oh my god, you guys, it was amazing.  There was pizza, and prosecco, and an Audrey Hepburn flick.  We played dress-up and talked about clothes and we even made ice cream sundaes.

fabulous

Sunday morning we lounged around in our jammies, watching the news.  I cannot believe the oil spill.  I cannot believe this is happening and we’ve let it go on and on for fifty-six days now.  The consequences of this disaster will be felt by our great-great grandchildren.  It makes me sick.  It makes me not want to give birth to more children, because it makes me think I don’t want to bring another life into this world.  It makes me thinks “What’s the point of living when our future is so horribly bleak?” Which is why I don’t watch the news and why I haven’t known anything about this oil spill, except that it happened, until now, because these things terrify me to the extent that if I pay too close attention I will implode.  Call me socially irresponsible, I don’t care.  I’ve got to take care of my sanity.

So we turned off the TV and we went to Central Park.  We had cocktails and tapas at the Loeb Boathouse, which is without a doubt, my absolute favorite restaurant in New York City.  We sat on the patio and we sipped mimosas because life is too damn short to spend the afternoon in a black hole of despair when you could be sipping mimosas.  It started to rain just as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, but it felt so lovely and we were so cheerful that Adam and I decided to walk barefoot through the park, while Joe watched in horror.

“Take your shoes off!  The grass feels lovely under your feet.”
“Until you step on a hypodermic needle.  No way.  I’m keeping my shoes on.”

smoking joe

“You guys are crazy.”

Then I called him a stuffed shirt, because that’s what Corey calls Paul when he refuses to walk barefoot in the park with her.  But Joe, in case you’re reading this, your whole stuffed shirt thing is part of what makes you so irresistibly charming.  Yesterday wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Joe's loafers

We walked and we walked and it rained and it rained and it was heavenly.  When I closed my eyes it was as if we were monkey people living in a wild jungle. (I have a wonderful imagination.)  We found ourselves in the middle of a giant field and we stashed our stuff under a tree and and played frisbee.  Rather, Adam and I played frisbee while Joe smoked cigarettes under his umbrella.  And by the way, if you’ve never played frisbee in the middle of Central Park in the pouring rain, I highly recommend it.  It was absolutely spectacular and absolutely worth the soaking wet train ride home.

best pals

Noooooooo

Adam: “Give me a hug.”
Joe:  “Nooo!  I’m wearing dry clean only!”

Weigh In

It’s June, we’re halfway through the year, and so I thought it would be fun to do a six-month check-in on all my resolutions.  Like a weigh-in, only without the humiliating scale part.  (I have a serious fear of scales.  I loathe them and despise them and I might even be allergic to them.)

New Years Day 2010, I declared, via Frosty-licious, that this would be the year I would “throw off the pretty little mask”.  You guys, I’ve done such a good job:

frosty-licious

The best thing about this picture is that it’s actually my face.

But seriously, I’m glad I re-read that post because it’s kind of fantastic to look over the goals I set in January and see how many of them have been checked off the list.  This has definitely been a year for dreaming big, scary, wonderful dreams.  My career has taken a wild turn and it’s very unexpected and very exciting.  When I think about it I get little chills up and down my spine and then I think I might throw up.  Like the way you feel when someone you’ve waited your entire life to kiss finally kisses you for the first time.

Mike’s going to be really bummed when he realizes I just told the Internet that I felt like throwing up when he kissed me the first time.  But I assure you, it’s a good thing.

We’ve decided we’re going to hike the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal in August of 2011.  Talk about dreaming big!  We’re hoping fourteen months is enough time to save money, get in shape, get vaccinated, get passports.  Read this article and you’ll totally understand why we want to go.

It turns out I won’t be going back to school after all, at least not now.  When my acceptance letter came I was hit by a wave of disappointment, so I figured that maybe it wasn’t actually the right thing to do.  I love the idea of going back to school and cutting things open and looking at their insides, but I think I love the idea of it more than the actual doing of it.  Like, if I could go back to school and not have to work, and not have to think about anything else like which bills were due and how there could possibly be that much dog hair on the sofa when I just vacuumed, then it would be awesome.  I would love it.  I would drink in every minute, I’d be a sponge for knowledge, I would appreciate it a thousand million times more than I ever did when I actually was a student.  But that’s just not realistic at this point.  I already went to college and I spent four years rolling around the floor in white body make-up while breathing through my anus.  Now it’s Mike’s turn.  Not to breath through his anus, and anyway that was only a metaphor.  It’s his turn to go to college and be a fulltime sponge for knowledge.  Besides, I’m getting at least as much out of it as he is, you have no idea.

We have completely paid off all of our credit card debt.  It feels amazing.  And I’ll tell you exactly how we did it: We stopped spending.  Seriously.  We stopped eating out, we stopped drinking out, we stopped buying clothes and trinkets and candles and take-out and bath puffs and suddenly we were able to pay off our credit cards. We are making the least amount of money we’ve ever made and for the first time since we moved we don’t feel broke.  So we’re saving up to move home to Los Angeles.  And also for our Annapurna hike, but first home. New York has been a wonderful adventure, but we did what we needed to do and we’re ready to go home.

There was one resolution I read over that kind of bummed me out because I realized I haven’t made any progress on it.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I have been eating much better and I’ve been doing more yoga and getting more exercise, but I have some serious self-esteem issues I need to work through.  In the meantime, I no longer depend on caffeine in the mornings!  Yay for me!  I seriously thought I was going to need rehab to get off the coffee, but I don’t even miss it.  And I don’t drink alcohol at all anymore, except for once in a while because sometimes it’s nice to relax with a beer.  I’ve yet to take a Spanish class, but the year is not over yet.  I’ve got a trip planned to Seattle to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday, and a trip home for a wedding and Mike and I have definitely been spending a lot of time appreciating our time without children, if you know what I’m saying.

Six months into the year and things are looking pretty damn good.  I’ve got a good feeling about the next six months, too.  What about you?