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A Very Babywearing Halloween

As you can imagine, this Halloween was kind of a biggie, what with it being Eva’s first outside my body and all. Do you remember last year, when I was a beer guzzling tattooed man and she was my beer belly?

maternity halloween costume

Us, Halloween 2013

This year I was pretty excited to do a joint-costume thing again and I had about a million ideas: I could be Cleopatra and she could be my asp; I could be a cat burglar and she could be my stolen jewels; I could be Miss Piggy to her little Kermy, she could be Sonny and I could be Cher… the possibilities were endless.

But as awesome as those ideas were (and they are awesome, come on, admit it) I quickly realized that they were hugely impractical. Since she’s still so small and I wear her everywhere (and would definitely wear her while trick-or-treating) I needed to come up with a creative, joint costume that would make sense if she were strapped to my body. Between me and Mike, we came up with five fun baby-wearing costume ideas that I’m sharing here for any families who might want to DIY a babywearing costume next year. Behold:

5 Awesome  DIY Babywearing Halloween Costumes

A Kangaroo and Her Joey 

This was Mike’s idea and he was kind of crushed that I didn’t use it. Alyson Hannigan did it very well in 2009, but here’s a cute DIY version that would be easy to pull off:

DIY Kangaroo Costume

The article for this cute costume is here

A Crazy Cat Lady and Her #1 Cat

This was my favorite, but I think probably the hardest to pull off. Basically, it’s a riff on this adorable costume:

crazy cat lady costume

 Image found here

The difference is that Mama is the cat lady and baby is dressed as her kitty. (Photos of babies in kitty costumes, anyone ?)

Jane Goodall and Her Chimp

jane goodall chimp

This would be unbelievably easy. Mama wears a collared, button up shirt, khaki pants, hiking boots, and a messy ponytail (or a gray wig, perhaps?). Baby wears a monkey costume. Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma’am.

Annie Oakley and Her Trusted Steed

 

babywearing halloween costume pony and cowgirl

Eva and me at a Halloween Party the week before Halloween

This was easy, fun and we DIY’d it for less than forty bucks. (We already had the tiny cowgirl boots, the jeans, the ergo, and we borrowed the bandanna from my mom. If you had to buy those things, this costume would be more expensive.) I used this tutorial for the hoodie-turned-horsey (minus the unicorn horn) and this image as my inspiration for the horse mask. (Thank you Pinterest!)

***And for the Babywearing Papas***

That Scene from Alien

IMG_4273

Mike and Eva, Halloween 2014

(Thanks for the photobomb, Valentine.)

At 11 p.m. on October 30th, Mike found out that he could bring Eva to the Microbiology Student Association Halloween party the next day. Using a shirt he owned, our Moby wrap, and some scraps of felt from my craft box, he put together this “Alien” chestburster costume. And you guys, they won first place in the costume contest!

So there you have it. Five awesome DIY babywearing Halloween costumes. Now go forth and DIY your babywearing costumes!

Best Spam Ever

Too bad there was no photo attached. I’d love to see a cheerful, kind, and fluffy woman who does not love slush:

You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? The truth – pretty? 🙂 But in a life I more nice!!!
And as I cheerful, kind, sociable and fluffy! I like to go in for sports, read books, to listen to music. I love winter and summer. I do not love spring and slush.
If I have interested you, with pleasure I shall tell about myself more in the following letter.
I wait for the answer on dyncollepsableaa58@yandex.ru

I double-dog dare you to send an email to the address she provided….

They’d Be the Best Husbands Ever

So yeah, sorry about that last post. Crazy Pat (my alter-ego inner monster) was out in full force. I am in a much better place today.  I think a huge part of the problem was some super stressful stuff that was going on at work and it’s mostly been dealt with now, and as my dad likes to say (constantly) most of the stuff we worry about never happens. I guess he’s right. Doesn’t mean I didn’t book myself an appointment with a therapist, though. I did, yes I did. Eight a.m. sharp the Thursday after next.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

In the mean time, here’s a video that is totally making it’s rounds all over the Internet, but on the off-chance you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor and watch. It will make you warm and happy all over. At least that’s what it did to me. LOVE. (Click the photo to be redirected to my new favorite video of all time.)

Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends

P.S. How CUTE is the guy in the peach shirt?!?!?!!? I would totally work out then get Pinkberry with him. Any. Time.

Disturbing News Story of the Day

Maximum Security Dogs

Maximum Security Dogs

I used to make a joke about how we don’t have kids because you can’t leave a baby in a crate when you go to the movies… but never again. It turns out that shit ain’t funny:

Tulsa Dad Arrested After Toddler Found in Cage

A Tulsa man was arrested after police found his 18-month-old daughter locked in a metal dog cage, his naked 4-year old daughter outside on a cold afternoon and him asleep in a drug or alcohol “induced stupor,” police said Monday.

After forcing their way inside, police discovered the toddler was covered in feces and that a 3-year-old child was asleep in another room. Their father was found asleep on a bed, “in an alcohol- or narcotics-induced stupor,” Ashley said.

Sheesh. They just let anyone have babies, don’t they.

Color of the Week

 

Bottle says, “Outrageous Orange.”  I call it, “Tomato Soup”

I’m obsessed with buying $0.99 nail polish and changing my nail color every couple of days. I’m like a crazy person about it. Manicures never last more than a day or two on my fingers, what with all the dish-washing and typing I do, so I have to reapply my polish every few days anyway. Or else try and stretch the manicure by reapplying the same color to the tips of my nails every evening. Either way, I probably spend far too much time painting my nails. But it’s one of my little pleasures and I love it, so, whatever. Oooh! You wanna see my manicure cabinet? Check it:

That’s a LOT of nail polish for one woman, yes? Yes.

What’s your little obsession? That crazy little thing you do that makes you so super happy? Come on… there’s got to be something. TELL ME WHAT IT IS.

 

For Shame!

Are you a fan of dogshaming.com?  If you’re not, you totally should be. That site is hilarious. (And sometimes horrifying.) My cousin Stephanie got me hooked on it and now I can’t stop. So, just for fun, I shamed my own dogs. Six times. You’re welcome.
Shameful Dogs
Shameful Dogs
Shameful Dogs
Shameful Dogs
Shameful Dogs
Shameful Dogs

P.S. Today is Theo’s 5th Adoptiversary. Happy 5 years to one of my favorite wieners.

Thank Heavens

And the blessed sound of angels’ voices broke through the heavens and I was so. freaking. relieved.

 The best is yet to come.

Are You There Guys? It’s Me, Frosty

The blinking cursor. It taunts me. How long will I stare it down? I have no idea what to type but I can’t stand staring at that awful, evil, nasty little blinking cursor and so I will just sit here and type and type and type and type. There are so many things going on and I feel like I can’t write about any of it, I’m keeping my life locked up in little metal boxes and the keys are broken off inside the locks so you can’t ever open them again, not ever again.

It’s horrible.

I used to love this. I would sit here, happily, for hours and hours and write all about my feelings, record all the little moments. Life was easier then. Or was it? Am I glorifying the past because it’s the past and all I can remember are the pretty pictures I posted here? I have no idea. It doesn’t even matter. I’m just so, so, so tired. I’m so tired of feeling like we’re fighting, constantly, just to keep our heads above water. And I know, I know that someone is reading this and they want to punch me in the face because whatever my stupid little suburban problems are, they are nothing, nothing at all. I know. I have so much to be grateful for. And most days I’m really good at remembering it. I don’t complain. I am grateful for the things that count. Most days. And then there are days like today when I sit on the balcony with the birds and I cry. And cry. And cry. I just wish things could be easier. I wish I didn’t worry so much. I wish I was more patient and more careful, more thoughtful. I wish I had more energy. I wish I’d made better choices when I was younger but I can’t think about that now or the mean little monster who lives behind my heart will thrash around and make me say awful things to myself.

I probably sound crazy. Maybe I am.

Things have not been going according to plan. Life has been life-y because, as they say, Humans Make Plans and God Laughs or whatever it is they say. BUT STILL. Anyway. Like I said. Most days are great. We’re fine. I’m fine. We work hard and we keep our heads above water and we’re okay. Today just hasn’t been one of those days.

Happy Places

All in bloom

My Christmas cactus, in early December, all in bloom. I ended up not watering it enough so all the blooms died and the green parts shriveled up and turned purple. Luckily, my mother-in-law pointed out my oversight and the plant has since recovered beautifully. This morning I counted six tiny, pink buds on its arms. Six!

I’m really making an effort to focus on the happy places. Like the buds on my Christmas cactus or the sunflower pen Dopey made for my birthday. And I’ve found that the happy I pull from the happy places make the rest of the garbage go away. For the most part. I mean, garbage doesn’t ever go away and no matter what it always stinks, but still. Happy places. Flowers and family photos, amulets, even. I bought this little stone sculpture in Bolivia and I keep it on my desk at work. It’s Pachamama, Mother World. I don’t know why, but that heavy, roughly carved stone brings me great comfort. If things get really stressful, (and there’s a lot of reasons for things to be stressful right now) I’ll pick it up and cradle it in my hands. Let the weight of it pull me. Whisper her name, Pachamama. Rub her three faces with the pads of my thumbs and just breathe. For a minute. It soothes me.

I probably sound like I’m losing my mind. Happy places. HAPPY PLACES!

Christmas cactus

*What’s that in the lower right corner of the photo? Just my super cool display of a mummified mouse family.

**Is it possible to take a picture against glass without catching a reflection? Is it possible for someone to explain it to me without being all technical and confusing?

Something, Anything

It’s been so long since I’ve written anything here that I’m beginning to think I’m avoiding it. I’m so out of habit and there’s so much to say, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s suddenly awkward. I want to recap everything that’s happened since December 8 because so much has happened but what a chore! And do you really want to see all 500 pictures I took of the dogs in Christmas bows? But you guys, I have hundreds of pictures to share and there’s just so much to tell you.

Only I’m not going to tell you tonight. I’m exhausted. I have cramps. The best part of my weekend was sleeping ten hours on Saturday night. My next-door neighbors are fighting again and I just can’t relax while they stomp around and scream until their little kids start crying, horrible sobs that resonate through the wall.

Actually as soon as I typed that everything went really quiet over there. Eerily quiet. I hope Daddy didn’t decide to kill everyone.

Do you see where my head goes?

Anyway, I’m exhausted. Last week was a very long week. It was my birthday on Tuesday and my birthday could not have been more perfect, but from Wednesday on, things were tough. The weekend was super fun but I was too tired to really enjoy myself so the best thing that happened was sleeping in on Sunday morning and then sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee while I pet my beasts for an entire hour. Oh. my. goodness. The luxury of it! But back to the point. I’m working in an office again, instead of from home, where I’ve worked for the last year, and some days are ten hours without a break and I am just so very very very tired. I’m not complaining! It’s good work I’m doing and I’m happy to be doing it. I don’t take breaks because I’m so engrossed I don’t realize ten hours have gone by. I’m just very very tired. So I should probably stop writing now and go get ready for bed. It’s already past my bedtime.

Until we meet again…