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Fragile Little Flower

balcony garden

This picture was taken once upon a time* when I had a dreamy job working from home. Whenever the weather was nice enough, which it almost always is, I would sit out there to work. Eight hours in front of a computer isn’t so bad when your cubicle mates are humming birds. I miss sitting out there.

For the last two months I’ve been working long hours in an office. It’s only temporary and it’s a beautiful office, but it kills me how little time there is left in a day when you work away from home. I mean, I never used to have to put on makeup or plan my outfits or shower, even. I feel like I lose hours every day just primping. It’s kind of fun, actually. I’ve never felt so feminine. But that’s not the point. The point is, from waking until almost bedtime I’m either preparing for work, working, or doing household chores. Most days I don’t get a minute to myself until after nine-thirty at night. How does that happen? Where do the days go?

While we’re on the topic, how on GOD’S GREEN EARTH do parents with fulltime jobs make it through a week? Seriously. Because I can barely manage it and I only have dogs. I don’t know how I would manage my life and my marriage if I had another human being to look after. I don’t think I would ever sleep, ever again. I’ve already given up exercising. I haven’t moved my body, except to stand up and sit down, in two months. And for the record, I’m not getting enough sleep. It’s horrible. I should go to bed right now, but then I wouldn’t get to sit here and complain about how hard my child-free first world life is.

I know there are people reading this blog who have careers and happy marriages and children and always look great and put together and I cannot wrap my head around how they do it. I feel like it would be impossible. Am I just incredibly weak? That must be it. I’m a fragile little flower. No wonder I love sitting out on the balcony in the sun all afternoon. It explains everything.

How do you do it? You super-people with your careers and your babies and your perfect hair? I want to know.

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  • OH my gosh – that picture is just delightful. I want to work there – I do I do. 
    PS – if you are referring to me from that silly perfect hair comment, (1) my hair is a HOT MESS – I just don’t post those pics, and (2) I’m a hot mess all around. Last night I fed Stella at 2am, then spent an hour cleaning b/c I was thinking about everything that I absolutely have not had time to get to over the past week. Now it’s 7am and I’m getting ready for work and exhausted. Definitely do NOT have it all together. 

    • You poor thing! I was referring to you, as well as several other working mama’s out there. And you might think you are a mess, but I think you are a super-human. Seriously. xo

    • kitten ku’upio

       Don’t have to have it ‘all together.’   I say tone down the need for perfect.  that “need for perfect” is a sickness unto itself.  Truth.

      • I wish there was an option to “Dislike” idiotic comments like this one. 

    • kitten ku’upio

       Why are you working when you have a baby?  That is ridiculous!   Is there some way  you could take time to be with her, or is that paycheck THAT important?  Maybe it is, and if so then that is how it is, but is there a way you could quit the stupid job and  be with the baby more? 

      • Wow. Wow. Is there a way you could quit being a Judgy McJudgerson and give people the space to live their lives the way it’s right for them instead of shitting all over them to make yourself feel better? Just wondering.

  • ‘Cita

    I’s d’know anybodys like that….

  • Those trying times away from home just make us all the more appreciate being home.

  • Oh my god, Trish, I feel the same way. I feel like I’m exhausted all the time, the house is always a mess, and I can never find enough moments in the day to get my shit together…and then I remember that we have friends our age with the same work schedules, AND KIDS (or even AND PETS, HELLO PATRICIA), and they seem to keep their heads above water. And then I feel like I’m drowning, and like, “how will I ever do all this and have a familiy?” 

    I guess we all just do the best we can with what we have?

    • I’m so glad you understand what I mean. And I think you’re right. We do the best we can and we’re capable of a lot more than we think we are. 🙂

    • kitten ku’upio

       The easiest thing is to lower your standards on the silly housework. The kids will grow and move away, and then you will have all the time in the world for that housework crap.  Its true.  Its not you. And those “parents” that seem to have it “together.” There ARE chinks in their armor. They are NOT perfect. How many of them have abuse issues, how many of their kids have had abuse issues as well. Substance abuse as well as emotional and probably physical abuse of some sort or other.   People like you and me that work hard at what we do and are imperfect are far, far better off than those that want to (nay, NEED TO) appear “perfect.”

  • kitten ku’upio

    The parents do it by throwing their children into day care like sacks of potatoes.  Its sad but that is what they do. I often wish they would have gotten a dog instead of kids because those children end up messed up by the gifts their parents buy constantly due to guilt. Then they occupy wall street.  I never understood why people put money ahead of the kids :/

    • You’re being judgmental, small minded, and stupid. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.

  • kitten ku’upio

     I forgot to add:  Yanno, if someone judges you on the condition of your house, they are not true friends.  Real friends won’t care about that crap. They will care about YOU!  Keep that in mind. And NOBODY needs to clean ANYTHING until 7 am.  You might want to get that OCD checked out. :/

    • And if someone judges you based on how clean you like to keep your house, they are as much of an asshole as the person who judges you for having a dirty house. You might want to avoid going around to people’s blogs and leaving a million judgy, rude, obnoxious comments.

  • I’m so glad you posted this! I was thinking the same thing the other day, as I was coming home from work to feed my two dogs and then had to leave five minutes later to get to a meeting. I was wondering how people with kids can stand to leave them…

  • laura

    Oh, those people are just ANNOYING! Youre alright girl. Your’e human (i can never get that word quite right… so embarrasing..’re..your’e.. dammit!) We live weird un-natural lives these days, our bodies haven’t caught up with the times.. its all a matter of perspective, y’know…how we choose to look at stuff.

    im going through one of my beauty-is-superficial stages right now, shunning all that expensive crap they would have us has been kicked away with my strong back legs and im now striding out hairy of leg and baggy trousered…until i catch a sight of myself in a full length mirror i bet..hahhaha