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I suppose our reputation precedes us. AMURICA!


Me, my pops, and my baby nephew Chris, circa a million years ago.

My nephew Chris, who is more a like little brother than a nephew because we are so close in age, teaches English at a school in Japan. He gave his studentsĀ a worksheet to review the grammar they have recently learned by completing sentences about Christmas in America. Here are his favorite answers:

In America, on Christmas, we enjoy… killing reindeer with a machine gun.

Many children love Santa Claus because he gives… them a unicorn.

On Christmas morning, children always look very… bloody.

This is a stocking! It is a sock to… receive presents.

This year for Christmas, Ms. Haruo wants to… go to a Haunted house.

Chris will go to America for Christmas to… kill.

Now that I know the Japanese believe American Christmas is all about violence and bloodshed, I’m confident that my traditional decapitated and mutilated gingerbread people will be the PERFECT gift for my nephew’sĀ Japanese fiance and her family. Super!

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  • ‘Cita

    Chris must teach a very interesting class…

  • ‘Cita

    Oh, and I love the photo!

    • Me too! Hard to believe either of us were ever that small. And doesn’t Papa look handsome??

  • stephanie

    im dying! this is hilarious.

  • Trina29

    Actually, it’s SUBARASHI! nun dayonai!

  • Tootles

    Too, that is a most beautiful photo – ah days of yore.

  • Anonymous

    This is hilarious!! Also, you are adorable.