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Death and Taxes

Today we will drive to Santa Monica to see the Tax Man to have our taxes filed. We filed an extension a few weeks ago, which only delayed the anxiety, misery, and abject poopiness of filing taxes.

That’s all I have for you today. The knots in my stomach have taken over and I can’t think of anything else to say. I just hope we don’t end up owing a squillion dollars to the IRS.

P.S. Maybe if we had socialized health care and I knew my taxes were going to pay for me to have the opportunity to see a physician about the weird lump on my abdomen, maybe I wouldn’t mind paying taxes so much. Maybe if we had a decent education system, maybe if the uber rich didn’t get all kinds of abominable tax breaks while the middle and lower classes paid out their asses, maybe maybe maybe I HATE THIS.

P.P.S. I should’ve signed off a whole paragraph ago. Major sad face.

sweet

Valentine says, “Taxes? *yawn* Skip the taxes and take a nap.”

Updated 4/29/11: I take it all back. I absolutely love and adore getting a tax refund paying taxes. Also? Mike and I are a little bit in non-sexual love with our Tax Man. If you need a tax dude, I have a phone number for you. He’s a tax genius. I wouldn’t lie.

And Then She Finished It

Was the kitchen-curtain-anticipation killing you? I’m sure it was. Sorry about that! Continuing:

After I pinned all the seams, I sewed them! I used a sewing machine, since sewing them by hand would have taken me ten years and resulted in very messy stitches. Sewing machines are surprisingly easy to use, even for a novice like me.

sewing

My seam isn’t even that wonky! (Try not to look at all the cat hair. There is a price to pay for Toby’s help.)

not so bad

Once all four edges were seamed, I measured the curtain rod (2 inches in diameter), and cut a three-inch strip of fabric to sew onto the back of the curtain for the curtain rod to slip through. I gave myself an extra inch so I could seam the edges and still have room for the rod to slip through.

Why does that sound dirty?

After I seamed the edges on the strip of fabric, I pinned it to the back of the curtain.

for the curtain rod

Then I sewed it all together! And then I realized that somehow I managed to make it a quarter of inch wider than the curtain itself.

oops

A bummer, but very easily remedied by folding and hand sewing the extra length into itself. I tried to take a picture of that, but couldn’t get the camera to focus in. But who cares, right? It’s fixed! No one will ever know I f*&%ed it up.

And that was it! That was the end! The curtain was finished! And also too narrow for the window. (Apparently width is not over-rated.)

kitchen curtain

I’d been aiming for a much more gathered look, which, as I discovered later when I googled “how to sew a kitchen curtain,” can only be obtained when your curtain is at least twice the width of your window. Unfortunately, mine is only about six inches wider than my window. I was super disappointed when I realized my error, but it’s started to grow on me. Mike and I aren’t really very ruffle-y people anyway.

How to Sew A Kitchen Curtain Like A Beginner

As I mentioned before, I have never sewed a kitchen curtain and I am not very good at sewing. In retrospect, this would have been a good project to, I don’t know, look up on the Internet prior to beginning, but we live and learn. I started out with some written instructions from Dopey:

instructions

Next, I imagined how long I wanted the curtain to be, and I measured the imaginary curtain against the window. Then I got real technical and type-A and measured the actual curtain fabric:

measuring 1

Eighteen inches in length by whatever many inches the fabric is wide. I don’t need to worry about width, right? As long as it’s wider than the window? Because it’s just going to bunch up anyway, so width doesn’t matter. Width is over-rated.

I don’t have a yardstick, so I used this giant yellow thing Mike has to make sure that I was going to cut my fabric in a straight line. I used a pencil to draw a line to guide my scissors.

measuring 2

And I measured from the top of the curtain down nineteen inches as I went along, because when I didn’t my curtain length got magically shorter as I went along.  See how my first pencil mark ends up at only seventeen inches?

measuring 3

But I fixed it! As you can see.

Once my curtain was cut, I measured and pinned half-inch seams on all four edges. Literally. Measure, pin, measure, pin, measure. I was terrified of having uneven seams.

Toby Helps

Toby helped.

really cat

But not really.

To be continued….

In Case You Didn’t Get Enough Malted Eggs Yesterday

You guys! It’s a Sylvanian Easter!

Sylvanian Easter

You didn’t think I’d stop with Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, did you? Oh hells no! Easter’s gotta re-pre-sent.

Garden Party

Little Prissy Thistlethorne is getting ready for the Easter garden party while baby Heather plays pretend with her toy bunny and pram.

hiding eggs

Uncle Sweetwater plays the Easter Bunny hiding eggs inside and out, while Mama and Papa Thistlethorne stroll like young lovers on a cool spring day.

like young lovers

Cousin Charlie is picking apples, Aunty Sweetwater and Mrs. Babblebrook have found some Easter eggs, and Mr. Babblebrook tends the carrot garden.

Easter Garden

The ladies all look so nice in their Easter bonnets that little Chester felt left out. “But Mama,” he cried, “I want to wear an Easter bonnet too!” And so he did.

Easter bonnet

Isn’t he darling pushing his little pink wheel barrow full of Easter treasures?

Sylvanian Easter 2

Happy Easter to all, and to all, a Good Night.

I don’t know how this happened. (Yes I do.)

When I was a little girl, I thought it would be fantastic to collect salt & pepper shakers. I remember eyeballing all kinds of salt & pepper shakers in souvenir shops while on vacation with my parents, and wishing I was a grown-up with my own kitchen so I could collect all the most beautiful shakers!

Then I grew up and realized how lame a salt & pepper shaker collection really is. And then I realized I own not one, not two, but six (SIX!) sets of salt & pepper shakers. All acquired after I was old enough to vote. Oh. Goldfish.

the collection

I don’t know what to do. Do I embrace the collection and display it? Do I attempt to find worthy homes for all but one set? (Ha.) Or do I rotate them out every so often? You know, when I’m feeling a fifties kitsch vibe, I put the pink pigs out. When I feel like a WWII military wife, I pull out the super cool 1940′s glass-that-looks-like-plastic set. Lately I’m feeling the little black dog peeing on the red fire hydrant. It’s appropriate to my current state of being. (Am I the fire hydrant or the dog? You decide.) But one day I might really want giant copper shakers or maybe I’ll want to hold a wiener while I spice my food! YOU NEVER KNOW.

So what do I do? Display all or rotate-when-the-mood strikes?

White Girl Stir Fry

Here is my recipe for White Girl Stir Fry.  It has nothing to do with actual stir-fry, except that it’s delicious. It’s also fast, easy, and healthy.

What You’ll Need:
Tofu
Vegetables
Chopped Garlic
Olive Oil
Ponzu sauce

First, heat some oil in a nice big pan. Next, sautee your chopped garlic. I had some nice scallions, so I chopped those up and threw them in too.

scallions

The vegetable and tofu goes in next. I used brocoli, but you could use carrots, mushrooms, beans, cauliflower, even brussel sprouts would be rad. Throw ‘em in there, swoosh everything around in the olive oil, then put a lid on it. You want it to steam a little bit before you add the next ingredient.

broccoli

And now…

ponzu

PONZU! Apply your PONZU! liberally. The more PONZU! the more delicious.

Finally, when your tofu and vegetable is softened to your liking, fold in about two or three handfulls of spinach. (Or any good wilting green you like.)

spinach

Last but not least, take a photo of your dinner and post it on the Internet.

squircle

It’s not pretty, but it is a squircle!

I DIY’d it.

did it

I re-covered the kitchen chairs. Finally.

I adore them.

The Office (Not the one on TV)

Welcome to our office/media room/guest room/den.

cuddle zone

The room is kind of tiny, and really stuffed with furniture, so it was hard to get good photos. What you’re looking at now is what I affectionately call “the cuddle zone”.  Since our bedroom is a pet-free area, this is where we curl up with the dogs and the cats to watch a show every evening. Right now we’re really digging Sons of Anarchy. It’s not very deep, but it’s fun to watch. Or that’s what Mike says. I don’t know because I usually fall asleep before the opening credits roll. He doesn’t get home until around eleven most nights, and by then I’m already in my jammies with my face washed and my teeth brushed. But he flops down on the sofa with a beer, and I stretch out with my head on his lap, a dog in my belly, one behind my knees, and a cat sprawled out on the back of the sofa behind his head, and it’s generally the best part of our day. (Amelia hides behind the sofa in the family room. She’s still getting used to being in a new place. The cross-country move was very traumatic for her little feline mind.)

Also, that isn’t really a sofa, if we’re going to be technical. It’s a futon. Which is great for when we have guests because they can put their bed together in a hot second. I just hope they’re not afraid of snakes because otherwise they won’t get much sleep.

(Note to self: In the future, it may be a good idea to refrain from keeping exotic reptiles in the guest bedroom, esp. if you want your guests to feel welcome.)

Directly across from the cuddle zone is the media station:

media station

There we have the television, the x-box, and the VCR. We own a VCR, but not a DVD player. I know. But VHS is awesome! And also the x-box doubles as a DVD player, so it all works out.

This room is, for all intents and purposes, completely finished. Except not really. Because for one thing, it really needs to be painted. How much cozier would it be in here if we painted the walls cafe au lait? It would be so. nice. Right? Tell me I’m right. More importantly, tell Michael.

And for another thing, there are some problem areas:

eyesore1

This is the kind of thing that makes my eyelids twitch.  I’ll usually grab Mike’s backpack and prop it against that tangle of cords because I’d much rather see his backpack on the floor than that cord-mess. The plan is to either build or purchase some piece of furniture that will hold our printer (which is currently taking up WAY too much space on the desk) and some office supplies, while simultaneously giving us easy access to the paper shredder and hiding that horrible little cord-mess. But we haven’t gotten around to it yet.

corner of pretty

This is not  a problem area. This is lovely. We’re hoping to preserve this loveliness when we put a table between the desk and the bookcase and pile it with office-y crap. I know desks and office stuff is important and useful, but I’d like for it to also be attractive and welcoming.

eyesore2

Originally dubbed “the box of anxiety”, the checkered box under the garbage can is now known simply as “the box of things that need to be filed”. (Thank Goldfish, because I don’t need any more anxiety than I already have.) While it’s fine and dandy that I went through the box and dealt with the things that needed immediate attention, now I need to go through that f*$%er and actually file everything. Unfortunately, it’s super low on my list of priorities, so it stays for now.

Also, everything under the snake tank is a mess. I’ve got to get under there and organize, but it’s mostly all the office supplies I want to put on the table we haven’t built to hide the cord-mess yet.

eyesore3

If the cord-mess makes my eyelids twitch, this makes me want to scratch my face off. Literally.

After I took this photo I managed to rearrange the storage boxes under the futon so they aren’t as screamingly obvious. I mean, they’re still under there, but they’ll stay there until I go through some of the crap in the closet and give some of it up. I just don’t need an entire closet packed with stuff I don’t use most of the time. Also, that loose speaker wire needs to be … dealt with.

The dog crate is in serious need of replacement, but again, Mike is hoping to build something beautiful and custom, something that doubles as an end table, so we’re dealing with it for now. But I should probably take my embroidery box off of it – I didn’t realize till now how it’s crushing in the top. That’s probably not real safe. #badparenting #excepttheyrenotkidstheyredogs

P.S. They like the crate. It’s their happy place. They go in there without being asked, especially when they see me with a nylon stocking in my hand.

Lastly, I’d like to find a better place to keep the TV tray and the baby gate. Preferably somewhere like the closet, once I go through it and carve out some space.

Oh my Goldfish, the list of Things To Do never stops growing.

Nomming

Happiness is…

nomming

Licking up the last of the cottage cheese.

The Feeling Sunset

pink sunset

Ten days ago…

champagne sunset

Tonight.

I realize that there is a super technical science-y way to explain why the sunset can be such different colors on any given evening, but when my children ask me how come the sunset is pink sometimes and yellow some other times, I’m going to say it’s because just like people, the sky has different moods and feelings. And how it feels is reflected in the colors it shows.

What do you think it’s feeling tonight?