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Sat on a fence but it didn’t work

I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.  And not even pressure from an outside source, just pressure from within.  I’ve been kind of a freaked-out blob lately.  It’s not pretty.

Except that’s not entirely true.  “Freaked-out blob” implies that I’ve spent the last two weeks eating ice cream in the same pair of dirty sweat pants day after day.  While that is certainly how I’ve been wanting to spend my time, instead I’ve actually been relatively productive.  I started running again.  High-five!  My plan is to fit into my pants again by Memorial Day.*  I also worked a lot this week.  A lot.  More than I’ve worked in a while.  And?  I went out with friends, saw a movie and had drinks afterward.  Right there is more activity than I have participated in since the end of January.  I should be exhausted, and I am, but I didn’t end there, you guys.  I also had two snow days in the last week, took tons of photos, kept my apartment clean, washed three loads of laundry, balanced my checkbook, updated my monthly budget sheet and ran errands.

And while that’s great and everything, did I really accomplish anything?  You know what I didn’t do?  My taxes.  Also?  I’m just barely keeping in step with assignments from work, getting them done in the nick of time, that is unacceptable I should be weeks ahead on all of my assignments.  Also?  I haven’t trimmed my toenails in two weeks, I haven’t checked my Facebook page since February and I went four days without shaving my legs.  FAIL.

Is this normal?  I mean, I assume that everyone feels the way that I feel, that I’m not the only person who expects to get it all done perfectly all of the time.

It’s a lot of pressure.

So that’s where I’ve been.  I’ve been trying, managing, ticking things off one at a time and breathing deeply, namaste.  In case you didn’t notice, one of things on my to-do list that didn’t get done was –

Hi! I’m posting! And did you like the photos?  It’s Friday!  I posted!  And I have news!

There is a project in the works, a project that came about thanks to writing that’s happened on this site, a career-type job-ish, and it’s really exciting and totally terrifying.  I’ll tell you all about it next week, when it launches, god willing.  Until then, here’s to a weekend that will hopefully have at least one morning where I can sleep in past six.

*Between the end of November, when our CSA ended, and the end of January, I gained enough weight that even my bras stopped fitting. What. The. Expletive.

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  • “did I really accomplish anything?”

    Of course you did. You LIVED, you enjoyed your life and your friends. There is NO greater accomplishment.

  • Is it normal…? I think so yeah. I didn’t even know until just now that two weeks is an inappropriate time to go without cutting your toenails. And sister I only shave once a week – twice if the Earth has decided to stand still! AND! Taxes aren’t due until April 15…that is over a month away so I think you are golden. I don’t have my appointment until March 31!!! Plus I wouldn’t even know how to set a flippin’ budget!

    This started off as me trying to make you feel better…but now I am just wondering if I am totally lame…and apparently unhygenic 😉

  • ‘Cita

    I agree w/ Hawk. Absolutely.

  • Jim

    I tend to be a perfectionist about the things I do, but if I were to judge my life based on the things I didn’t do, that I probably should have done, I would more than likely send myself straight to the devil. Fortunately, I try to steer clear of that way of thinking, and I hope you will try to as well. Your glass looks way more than half-full to me.

    I can’t wait to hear more about your “job-ish” development, if it happens, which I’m hoping it will. :::crosses fingers:::

  • Kim

    I recently had the “oh crap, my bras don’t fit” thing, and yeah. Going from a 34 to 36 was not so thrilling. Until a friend reminded me that a 36 is still totally normal and, um, that I was a 34 for approximately 10 years. So I don’t care that much, even though I know there is a little more stomach-back-under-boob-area fat than there used to be. Whatev.

    Anyway, I know what you mean about wanting to accomplish everything. It can be hard to justify being busy just living life when you have actual things to get done. But you know what? Sometimes you just have to do the best you can and try to enjoy it as it all comes atcha. 🙂

    PS – yes, I said “atcha”