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On A Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning

Sometimes I worry that I’m not working hard enough or fast enough and that the days of my life are slipping blindly past. I worry that we’ll never be ready to have children, that we’ll never have enough money to buy a house or live debt free. I worry that going back to school means we’ll be spending the rest of our lives paying off student loans and we won’t be able to send our children to college because there won’t be anything left over. I worry I’ll never be young enough or pretty enough even though that’s ridiculous because I’m not even old yet. I worry about how we’ll pay the electric bill this month and then I worry that we’ll never have enough money to not worry about how we’ll pay the electric bill. And I know that everyone has these worries. I know that we are young and just starting out. I know that no one’s ever ready for kids and there’s never enough money in the bank. But the worry is real and if we allow it to, it will eat us alive.

And then there is always a Sunday morning.  A morning when the sun pours in through the windows letting the leaves on the pathos glow in a fairy-green light. A morning when the dogs doze peacefully, curled closely with the cats, who, for the moment, are not meowling about their next meal. A morning when Mike is at school, he’s studying, he’s learning, he’s shaping a brick in clay and when it dries hard in the sun on a bright winter day, he will use it to build our dreams a little higher. A morning I have spent writing, writing, writing, my feet tucked under my body and my shoulders beginning to ache, but what a lovely ache; the ache of accomplishment.

The thing to remember is that everything, right now, in this moment, is perfect.

Look around you. Notice your surroundings. Take a deep breath. What do you hear? What do you see? Are you in a cubicle? Can you hear the hum of an air conditioner? Can you hear the comfort in it? Are you at home? Near a window? Is it night or day? Take a deep breath. What is the light like? Is anyone else nearby? How do you feel?

No matter what is going on in life, no matter what happens tomorrow, right now everything is perfect.  Maybe it’s not what you wanted to do today.  Maybe there’s somewhere else you’d rather be or someone else you’d rather see. But we are alive. We are here.

The sun is warming my back. The dogs are in a heap on the sofa. I woke up this morning alive and healthy. My loved ones are alive and healthy. And I thank God and the Universe and all the stars in the sky because whatever happened yesterday and whatever the future holds, we really are blessed.

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  • ‘Cita

    Ah, the Moment…..I am There. Thank you.

  • Jim

    Frosty, thank you for directing me and the rest of your Twitter followers to this new site. I just read everything you wrote since the new year began, and thoroughly related to it. I, too, place a lot of importance on marriage and family (I’ve been married for 16 years, and we have a 13-year-old son). We, too, have financial struggles and relationship challenges. Your musings and insights are of great interest to me. I especially appreciate this latest one. It’s so important to bring our attention to the here and now, and to remind ourselves of all the things that make our lives worthwhile. Thanks.

  • Kim

    Your writing takes my breath away. This is such a beautiful message to remember; we all need a little reminding now and again.

  • Katy K

    For years, our family has relied on Arlo Guthrie to put things in perspective:

    “During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always
    has it bad once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of
    it, and you always have a friend who says “Hey man, you
    ain’t got it that bad. Look at that guy.” And you at that
    guy, and he’s got it worse than you. And it makes you feel
    better that there’s somebody that’s got it worse than you.

    But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last
    guy. Nobody’s got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the
    whole world. That guy…he’s so alone in the world that he
    doesn’t even have a street to lay in for a truck to run him over.
    He’s out there with nothin’. Nothin’s happenin’ for that cat.” — The Pause of Mr. Claus

    So, when we’re feeling low, we remind ourselves that “At least I have a street to lay in for a truck to run me over”

    Now, even better, Joe is a long-haul truck driver, so now I have both a street to lay in AND a truck to run me over.

    Be well, my dear.