Twitter Facebook

Kind of a big deal, The End

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Did you know that for the first week of Baby’s life you have to feed it every hour?  You might have a baby who’ll sleep longer stretches and maybe you’ll only have to feed it every two or three hours, but you must feed it at the very least every three hours.

From your boobs.  (Or from a bottle, but still.)

Did you know that babies start learning the minute they make their appearance and that they require stimulation and attention and you have to play with them and focus on them and teach them stuff and they rely on you for everything?  EVERYTHING.

The more I read about the first year of baby’s life, the more nervous I got.  I had this idea that bringing a new baby home would be like a Johnson & Johnson commercial.  I envisioned myself in a filmy white nightgown, sunlight filtering through breezy open windows, Michael across the room at his easel, the dogs curled calmly on either side of me as I suckle the babe at my breast.  But according to this book a more likely scenario is a house that hasn’t been cleaned since before the baby showed up, unwashed hair and stained pajama’s, weeks and weeks and weeks without sleep, the dogs hysterically chewing bald spots into their coats because their lives have been ruined by the screaming alien we brought home from the hospital.  And also?  Every three hours?  From my boobs?

It’s not that I want a baby any less than I did that first day my switch flipped.  It’s just that now I’m absolutely terrified.  For the first time in our marriage, we are genuinely happy with our life.  We are happy and working towards goals we believe in and building a life we’re excited about.  That’s a big deal.  It’s why we thought now might be a good time to add to our family.  I read up to what to expect in Baby’s second month before I shut the book, stuffed it behind a row of trashy novels and told Mike that maybe now would be a good time to savor our life a little bit.  Maybe now is the time to be enjoying these happy, blissful, quiet moments alone together, I said.  He stared at me for a moment and then he demanded I tell him what I’d done with his wife.  But he agreed.  So we are treasuring nights spent curled on the couch in front of the TV with nothing between us but air.  We will delight in late Saturday mornings and whispering over pillows well past bedtime.  We will relish sleeping for ten hours at a stretch, candlelit dinners alone just because, and dogs who have full coats of fur.  It’s not that we aren’t eager to start a family, because we are.  We just want a little more time to appreciate the adventure we’re on before we jump into the next one.


You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or create a trackback from your own site.

  • Whilst it is a daunting task do realize we humans have been doing it, successfully for the most part, for quite a long time 🙂

  • Kim

    Beautiful. And I agree – best to savor the moment until you are 150,000% sure that you are ready to move into a new phase of life. That is the thing that has stuck with me the most about having a very close friend with a 3 year old (and she is a single mom). You don’t just have a cute little baby. You have a baby who turns into a kid who turns into a teenager who turns into an adult…that shit is forever. For the rest of your life. Reminding myself of that fact helps to minimize the ticking of the biological clock. Sometimes.

  • ‘Cita

    Yup. Hawk and Kim are both correct…it’s been happening since forever, And, it Lasts forever.

  • George

    I give it 3 months before you are pregnant…..max. Good news is, you are gonna make amazing parrents and the world needs kids made by amazing, loving, nurturing, intelligent parents to offset all the kids made by selfish careless trash who will do nothing to empower their children to make a difference in the world.

  • tea M

    …actually for some it does end, parents in Haiti, who can not find their children, parents who identified theirs at Hiroshima by the lunch box they carried, or by the stuffed toy, and some parents who’ve had to sprinkle theirs at sea. It does end, sometimes. And, then the wild ride is over, you will find you were right to relish it while it happened to do otherwise is simply wasteful. But in the meantime, you are right to relish the life you’ve been working so hard to attain, and now have some of those moments to enjoy. What good intellects you both have, what great planning, truly exemplary! I agree with George, wholeheartedly, you two will be loving, caring parents who remember to ask their child(ren) what they did today, and today, and today, and will remember they are their own unique beings with their own unique set of beliefs, gifts, and ideas, and you will remember to treasure each of them, and you will remember they are a reflection of your love.